Are you Having Fun?
It seems childish, doesn't it? To ask yourself "am I having fun?" As if the focus of our adult lives should be more complex than that. But why? Why is having fun at the bottom of our priorities if even on the list at all?
I don't think that it should be, and it doesn't have to be either. As I've travelled across the country and spoken to some of the most successful people there are, I've found that success doesn't always come with a meaningful life. I see these people who have everything they ever wanted, they achieved the goals they set out to achieve, yet if I ask they will tell me they don't make fun a priority.
There is a pervasive theme in todays society that places the emphasis on what you can get done rather than how you'll live as you chase the things you want.
A survey taken in 2019 of 1,000 adult Americans found that while 97% consider having fun to be important, only 53% actually report having fun on a regular basis. How does this happen? How do we see something, know it is important, yet neglect incorporating it into our daily lives?
We get success tunnel vision.
As Arthur C. Brooks once said, "The pursuit of achievement distracts from the deeply ordinary activities and relationships that make life meaningful."
So then, if we want to have fun in our day to day lives, we have to be present enough in the moments where there is fun to be found in the simply ordinary. Fun is not something that you have to conjure up from thin air, it's an experience waiting to be discovered all around you.
The official definition of fun is "enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure." Meaning that fun is not something you must find, but rather a state of mind you have the choice to enter into. It's the short interaction you have with the strangers you meet where you realize they have a story to tell that you've never heard. It's the parts of your job where you feel like you're finding your stride and gliding as you go. It's the coffee breaks with your favorite creamers and even awkward office conversations.
If you want to start having fun, no one is stopping you other than yourself.
Think of it this way:
Imagine you are a teenager again, your phone has been taken away, and you can't go out with your friends because you have to eat dinner with family. Sitting around the table, your family is telling stories, laughing, and enjoying their meal. Yet there you sit with your arms crossed, determined to be in a bad mood. Get this, you're allowed to stay in a bad mood all you want, but the person missing out the most will be you. In that moment you have the choice, make your point to the universe by staying angry, or let the moments happening around you be enough to make your situation fun even if it isn't what you wanted at first.
The amazing thing about fun is that it doesn't require anything in particular to be had. You can find fun in a conversation as easily as you'd find it at an amusement park. It just takes having the right mindset to observe the world around you with.
So then, are you having fun?
Are the people around you having fun?
If the answer to either of those questions is no, it may be time to make it a priority.
Lead Well,
Purpose vs Passion and Why You Need Both
What would we be without the things that set our souls on fire? What fun is a life without passion? And in that same vein, where would we be without the drive that pushes us ahead and towards our purpose? What good is time if it is not spent growing, changing, and giving to the world around us?
The key to a life brimming with meaning is finding the power that sits at the intersection of purpose and passion.
A legacy worth carrying on is one with a foundation of both of these things-but what’s the difference between the two of them? And how do we incorporate both passion and purpose into our lives?
Purpose (noun):The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
Passion(noun): An object of someones love, liking, or desire.
Your passion is the thing you are effortlessly fond of and sparked by. It’s the thing you find that makes your heart leap and your speech excited. Your purpose is the calling from your soul that propels your life choices. It’s what aims your decisions moving forward.
In life, you need both passion and purpose in order to not only have dreams, but chase them to the best of your abilities. Your passion is the “what” while your purpose is the “why”. They are dependent on each other to be fully realized, meaning they need each other in a way, and likewise, you need both of them.
A passion without a purpose will leave you with scattered bursts of motivation and joy with nothing sustainable to show for it. Meanwhile, a purpose without a passion will give you results that are lacking that spark which makes life all the more magnificent.
This is why it’s important to seek out your passions and use them as a roadmap that guides you to your purpose. Your purpose is what will be the driving force behind your life and the choices you will make. Harvard did a study in 2019 that found purpose to be crucial in achieving your goals-even more so than passion. This isn’t because passion is less important in life, but rather that purpose gives you the foundation and resilience to move and adapt in the world around you.
If you are running ahead on passion alone, you will hit ruts where that love or excitement isn’t enough to pull you through. You need a centered and strongly formed purpose if you want to see a life of meaning unfold in front of you. You need passion if you want to set others on fire around you and see them excited by your mission. That’s a huge part of successful leadership; being able to get your team as excited about the objective as you are.
Maybe you’ve found your passion-just not your purpose yet.
Maybe you’ve found your purpose but lost your passion somewhere in the middle.
Maybe you haven’t found either.
Maybe you’re sitting in that sweet spot right now.
Wherever you are right now,
Lead Well,
You Should be Talking to Strangers
When we're young "don't talk to strangers" is drilled into our heads, and with good reason. While there is endless beauty and good in the world, there is also evil, and children unfortunately have a harder time differentiating between the two.
But here's a question for you (knowing full well that my audience is not children), when was the last time you truly engaged with a stranger?
Not just a "please", "thank you", or "one drip coffee" but an actual conversation?
Every day we drive past hundreds of cars heading to destinations we don't know about, with people driving them we don't know. We sit in coffee shops surrounded by laptops used for an endless myriad of tasks.
Sonder(noun): the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
While there is no way to know and understand every single person we pass by, it's important to understand that every person you've ever met has their own life, their own struggles, and wisdom born from circumstances we don't know about.
This blog is my case to you to start engaging with the world around you in a deeper way by talking to more strangers.
So then, what do you have to gain from talking to strangers?
Here are three reasons to talk to strangers more:
1. It Makes us Happier
Studies have found that those who engage with and talk to strangers in their everyday lives are happier at the end of the day. Often times we find ourselves trapped in our own minds or feeling isolated, but talking to strangers can help us to get out of that funk or thought pattern. These small interactions could be the bright spot of your day, but you'll never know if you don't try. By speaking to strangers we reinforce in ourselves that the world is full of beauty and even kindness. This allows our trust and hope to grow as our confidence does.
2. Strengthens Community
When we engage with strangers, especially other "regulars" in the places we go frequently we are helping the communities we live in to become stronger through connection. Who doesn't love the idea of being a regular, right? You walk into a coffee shop and the barista knows your name and can guess what you'll order? It can make anyone feel special-but it's a two way street. If you want to be known you have to be willing to know others. If you want to be a part of something it's up to you to make the first move. Ask the barista about themselves and tell them about you. Always remember the people making your food or driving your car are people, and you can learn something from them if you listen.
3. Mental Health
In the last couple of years isolation has become the norm. That isolation takes a toll on us whether we realize it or not, we feel alone and disconnected from the world around us. That feeling of being alone tends to grow if not attended to. This is where talking to strangers can help, because when we engage with someone else suddenly they become real, not just a background character in our day. By connecting with strangers we are pulled out of our minds and brought to the present-the here and now. Humans are hard wired to desire connection, without it we struggle to feel motivated and important. When we talk to strangers and learn about them we remember that everyone has battles they have won and lost, we aren't as alone as we may think. Get out of your head and into the present through talking with strangers.
The good thing about conversations with strangers is that you don't have anything to lose, there is a certain kind of freedom that comes with the anonymity. If you're anxious about starting a conversation, I assure you that the hardest part is the first word.
Some of my favorite moments throughout my days are when I've learned something new about someone I've never met before. They say it's good to learn something new everyday, and I believe that doesn't only pertain to science or history facts. There are lessons waiting to be learned behind the eyes of every stranger we meet.
I hope you'll take the time to engage with the people around you today. I promise it's worth it.
Lead Well,
Is Your Goal Worth Chasing?
The official definition of a goal "is the object of someones ambition or effort; an aimed or desired result." Anyone who has achieved a goal of their own will tell you it is the result of not only hard work, but knowing what it is that they wanted to chase in the first place.
The best goals are the ones thought up and brought about with passion and enthusiasm.
After all, what good is it to chase something if it doesn't ignite your passion?
What good is it to set a goal that only holds surface level significance?
There is power in identifying not just what you want, but why you want it as well. For this reason, it's important to think long and hard about the goals you want to set yourself both in life, and even the next six months. Are you chasing something that truly matters to you? Or are you doing what you think you should be doing but unsure of what the outcome will be?
If we want to live a life where we are still excited by the everyday, we have to set goals that truly matter to us.
This is why when you're looking at your current situation and wanting to change it you have to ask not just how you will change it, but why. Why do you want things to be better in six months than they are now? Why do the things you're giving your time to deserve that time? What aspects of your passions are hidden in the fine print-and what would happen if you let them take a more integral role in your goal planning?
Everyone should have goals or dreams they're working towards. And they don't all have to be grand in nature, they can be simple things like becoming more intentional with your time or learning a new skill.
The important thing is to identify the goals you want to see happen in your life and fully allow yourself to be invested in them. Choosing your goal is the first step to attaining it, after all, wouldn't it be disappointing to work so hard only to achieve something that was better in your head than it is in real life?
Ask yourself what matters to you, what makes your heart leap with excitement, and build your goal planning around those things.
It's much harder to experience burnout if what you're going after really matters to you.
Goal setting is a powerful tool, if you started this year wanting to see your life changed, make sure your passion is the fuel for your chase.
Set a goal that excites you.
Lead Well,
3 Tips for Creating Your Personal Brand
In recent years the phrase "Brand Yourself" has become more and more prevalent in the professional realm. Typically when people think of a brand what comes to mind is a logo, mascot, good, or service. A personal brand however is the curated manner in which you present yourself to those in your professional field or industry. It's what you want to be known for in your work and can help you to grow as a professional through broadening your reach and notability.
Putting time into creating your brand can benefit you in multiple ways depending on what it is you do and how you decide to craft your image. When you are able to identify and create your brand you open yourself up to growing your business and reputation. Just because you know who you are and what you're capable of, doesn't mean the world around you does.
Working to develop your personal brand gives you a say in what they'll say about you.
So how do you go about creating your personal brand?
Here are 3 places to start:
1. Identify Your Values
What is it that you want people to think of you after you leave the room? In your career what do you want to be known for? What matters to you in regards to the way you carry yourself and work? Knowing what it is you stand for and how you want to work for others allows you to aim yourself in the right direction. It can help in this phase to figure out who in your field you look up to. Who is doing things in a way that draws you to them? What is it exactly that they're doing to make you feel drawn to them? Figure out what you want to be and then assess what it will take to get to that. The first step to establishing your personal brand is knowing who you are and what you stand for.
2. Put it in Writing
Studies have found that when we put things in writing we are more likely to see them to fruition. This is because of the mental aspect of putting something from your mind onto paper and the way that it has the potential to hold you accountable to yourself and your goals. If you don't quite know what exactly it is you want your personal brand to be, it can help to sit down and start writing with no clear motive in mind other than what you want to be. Let your thoughts spill onto paper without judgement and then take a step back and assess what the through line of your writing is. Use this as a brainstorming technique if you still aren't quite sure about what your brand will be. If you are a little further along, use it to refine your thoughts on the matter.
3. The Quiggle Assessment
One of the best aspects of The Quiggle Assessment is that it helps you with the previous two steps and even takes it a step further. When you take the Quiggle Assessment you are walked through writing your own Success Story based on the symbol you are given after answering the initial questions. We give you the vocabulary that aligns with your already present abilities and values allowing you to move forward in the process with more confidence. This is one of my favorite aspects of The Quiggle Assessment, I love hearing from those who have taken it and hearing their own Success Stories told with certainty. If you find yourself struggling with any part of this process, The Quiggle Assessment is a great place to start.
Whether you're a recent college graduate, a high school student looking to apply for school, or someone who's starting to realize they want more out of their career, creating a personal brand is a great next step.
I hope you'll take the time to identify what it is you want to be like and that you'll be filled with confidence in doing so.
Lead Well,
Start The New Year with The Quiggle Assessment
There seems to be pressure to make massive life changes around the new year. Be it through resolutions, a new planner, or that habit you’re vowing to stop - the new year is often marked by expectations we put on ourselves. I’m not here to tell you that you have to change everything about yourself in order to succeed this year, but to encourage you to recognize what you already have within you and use it to build your confidence and propel your purpose.
That’s why in 2022 we’re excited to see where The Quiggle Assessment can take you.
I want to see your teams inspired to step up and take pride in the work they do.
I want to see your family members reminded of the fact that they can start leading a life they love regardless of their current situation.
I want to see your kids find the words to let the world around them know who they are and what they know they are meant to do.
I want to see lives changed through the power of self reflection and intentionality.
So instead of starting the year with high expectations placed on yourself, what if you started the New Year with a better understanding of what makes you uniquely powerful?
It’s only from a place of understanding ourselves that we can grow and learn, which is why I hope you’ll consider taking the Quiggle Assessment.
How Can it Help in the New Year?
Through offering insight into the situations where you can best succeed, taking The Quiggle Assessment at the start of the new year can help you to chase your true purpose and potential. Using your unique success symbol, the assessment provides you with a specific vocabulary to help you present yourself to the world around you. Your Power Pitch that we walk you through creating can be your mantra of motivation for stepping up to ask for what you want.
The Quiggle Assessment was created to help you identify your purpose and walk in it. If 2021 wasn’t all that you wanted it to be, you don’t have to beat yourself up over it. You just have to take that first step forward.
I hope you will.
Whether you take it for yourself or give it to someone you love, I’m excited to hear from you how The Quiggle Assessment changed your life both professionally and personally in 2022.
Lead Well,
3 Questions You Can Ask to Deepen Your Relationships
The relationships in our lives are some of the most important assets we have. After all what good is success, fame, power, or money, if we don’t have people around us that we can enjoy it with? On the other hand, you can be surrounded by people and still lack true connection. So how do we make the relationships we have better?
The answer is simple but the action it takes to implement can be challenging-we have to be willing to be vulnerable.
Connection requires a level of vulnerability that can intimidating if it’s not something you’re used to practicing. Yet without vulnerability and honesty we can’t ever be known and loved for who we really are.
But how do we practice being vulnerable with others if it’s not something we’re used to doing? Here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself to work towards deepening your relationships:
Am I comfortable with this person? Why or why not?
Relationships can only grow and thrive in a space where both parties feel safe to be themselves. In this relationships, do you feel able to freely express yourself without judgement? If so, fantastic! True friendships and relationships benefit us most when both parties are able to show up as their true selves and be accepted for whatever that is. If you feel as though you can’t be open or honest with this person, ask yourself why it is you feel that way, is it because of your own perception of the relationship, or because this person has displayed actions in the past that make you feel judged or overlooked?
If it’s the latter, it may be time to have a tough conversation with this person about why it is that their actions make you feel this way. Their response to this kind of honest conversation can tell you a lot about the way they view you. If things change and their reaction is one of listening and reassuring, great. If the way they react only makes you feel worse, it may be time to take a step back and reassess.
Do we talk about things that are truly important?
It’s easy to become complacent with the people in our lives, especially if they’ve been around for a long time. It’s easy for the surface level conversations to take main stage, especially because they are often the topics were most comfortable discussing. But if you want your connection with someone to be deeper, the conversations have to go deeper.
Do both parties know they are appreciated and loved?
If someone has been in our life for a long time we may assume they simply know that we appreciate them. And this could be true…but what would happen if you consistently let them know they matter to you? It can feel awkward to suddenly start doing this, I get it, but if you want a relationship to thrive, showing appreciation on a consistent basis can make a huge difference. Doesn’t it feel amazing when someone tells you they appreciate you? Wouldn’t you love it if you heard that more? Start by doing it for others, odds are they will start doing the same for you.
Conclusion
The relationships you have in your life are invaluable and can be a cornerstone to your foundation in life, but only if you work to make them as such. If you want deeper relationships in your life, it takes two, and you can be the first one to instigate. Don’t settle for the surface level when what’s waiting deeper is so much better.
Lead Well,
8 Tips for Powerful Parenting
There are no perfect handbooks for being outstanding parents. Juggling responsibilities, balancing priorities, and attending to children's needs are everyday things most parents do. However, here are eight powerful tips for successful parenting.
1. Walk the Walk
Set a good example by walking the walk regarding positive behavior, attitude, respect, and empathy. Your actions are far more powerful than your words. Improve your listening and observation skills. Support what you say with comparable measures, provide rewards, and celebrate successes. Children learn through imitation. They watch everything, thus be the person you want your children to be.
2. A Warm Welcome Home
When anyone in my family enters our home at any time, we are greeted with a cheerful welcome. When we open our door, we hear every family member say, "Dad's home, everyone!" or "Justin's home!" or "Mom's home!" with much gratitude and enthusiasm.
This fun ritual started when the kids were young. My wife Luanne heard a friend of ours say, "When I come home each day, the only thing that greets me is the dog". She felt so sorry for him that she started this warm welcome home ritual, and it caught on. We have been doing this for at least twenty years. If I was ever down or depressed, I have to admit I would just walk out the front door and walk right back in, just to be greeted. It feels that good!
3. Circle the Wagons: Your Home is Your Safe Space
From the time my children were little, I would always say, "Look outside. That is where you compete; we never compete in here. Our home is a safe space. No hate is allowed in our home. We must always have each other's back even for the small stuff. If I do ever hear, "I hate you," all your favorite toys or phones will disappear. "Actions have consequences. And when times are tough, there are no problems that are too big and no challenges that are too great that we can't solve together." My whole family bought into it, and we have each other's back.
It is essential to keep your home a safe space, a haven where family members treat each other with love and attentiveness. Children need a place to discuss what happened during the day, their successes, what they accomplished, and the pitfalls. It is integral to their emotional and mental well-being.
Some topics your children will discuss will be intense, but it is important not to over-react. Being empathetic about their feelings will reassure them that they are not alone, ignored, or rejected. Children are more likely to open up willingly and fearlessly in a secure home.
4. Be Non-Judgmental
Since adults have more experience than children, it is important not to judge. Children have different ideas, approaches, and solutions. They can come across as juvenile and immature at times. It is essential not to make any derogatory comments to your children.
Instead, support where they are in their lives, and guide them without passing judgment. Allow children to tackle their issues and give them time and space before giving them advice. Moreover, please do not dismiss the importance of the topic they are discussing. It might seem trivial to you but very important to your children.
Set the foundation to encourage your children to follow their passions with perseverance. It gives them a belief in themselves and builds self-esteem and confidence.
5. Encourage Their Dreams and Not Yours
Believe in their dreams. We all have visions for our kids and what we want them to accomplish. I would argue that they sometimes mimic our unfulfilled dreams or our passions. The sooner we can get our kids to identify their true passions and support them, the better life will be for everyone. This topic is a tough one for most people, including myself. Once I changed my mindset, our family developed a closer emotional connection.
My daughter, Corinne, decided at age twelve that she wanted to become a pro volleyball player. I supported and nurtured her passion, but I also gave her the responsibility to work hard to pursue her dream and turn her vision into reality.
6. Schedule a Meeting
Each one of my kids has their "things" that interest them, and they love to do. It is funny because they have the same parents and upbringing, but all three are unique. As my children grew up, I discussed my concerns, offered advice, and talked about important issues frequently, as it came to my head. However, to them it felt like I was nagging them throughout the entire day!
Until one day, I had an epiphany! I approached all three of my kids and said, "From now on, we will schedule a time to discuss things, and during that time, we can communicate our concerns and debate. Otherwise, all other times, I'm just going to be your Dad. I am going to love you and try to be the best Dad I can be." For the last many years, this has worked out very well, and it took a huge burden off of me. I can relax knowing that we can still communicate in a positive and controlled way, but at a pace that was comfortable to all of us.
7. Your Children Are Tomorrow's Leaders
Teach children accountability, negotiation skills, and weigh the pros and cons to make informed decisions. Emphasize effective communication, expose them culturally, and help them find invaluable mentors to nurture other skill sets and methods to success.
Show them how to find balance in their lives by participating in team activities inside and outside their school. Guide them in creating and achieving goals through brainstorming, vision boards, project planning, and execution. It will serve them well throughout their lives.
8. Promote Philanthropy
We want our children to become upstanding, kind humans. Start by teaching your children about philanthropy through exposure to charities and volunteering. Provide positive reinforcement to nurture their cognitive-behavioral connection. They will become more grateful and generous, and less self-centered. Empower your children to contribute to your communities so they can be a part of something greater than themselves and truly make a difference.
These days, colleges are more focused on admitting students with a philanthropic background. As a bonus, it will boost your children's chances of getting into a top college and make them more eligible for scholarships.
Parenting is one of the most challenging and fulfilling roles we will play in our lives. We are least prepared, but know your efforts will make a significant impact and improve family relationships.
Lead Well,
What it Means to Be Present
Everyday we are pulled in a million different directions. Our attention is a commodity chased down by the world around us be it through our phones, our jobs, the entertainment we watch, or our families-we are surrounded by distractions. As a result, many people simply turn off or go into auto pilot in order to survive. We start to coast as a way to manage our stress and who can blame us for that? The issue arises when we're no longer able to be fully present in the moment and we lose the benefits that come with experiencing life fully.
So, what does it mean to be present?
Being present isn't so much about where you are physically, it's about where you are mentally. To be present is to be a part of the moment you are currently in as an active participant. If you're going to be somewhere, commit to it. If you're going to do something, eliminate any distractions, put your head down and do it. When you commit yourself to the moment you're in right now you're able to get the most out of it. This applies to time spent with others as well, if you have time with someone, don't waste it! Intentionally participate in your own life and discover the benefits of doing so.
What are the benefits of being present?
Creativity
Smart phones and constant access to the entire world at our fingertips has stolen something from us-boredom. Now, you're probably thinking "well why would I want to be bored?" but in truth, creativity is often born out of boredom. When we have nothing to fill our thoughts with, we're able to let them wander and observe where they go. As you start to practice being in the moment you'll likely find that your thoughts and ideas come a bit easier.
Stress
With 18.1% of American adults reporting feelings of anxiety that inhibit their everyday lives, practicing presence in your everyday life can be a valuable tool in combatting those feelings. When you're present you're able to ground yourself when anxious thoughts strike through noticing the details of the world around you. Deep breathing, noticing your surroundings, and various other well known coping techniques are centered around being in the moment as a way to get out of your head. This means that those who make being present a habit are less anxious on average.
Relationships
When you make time for the people you love and eliminate distractions keeping you from true connection you're able to go deeper in your relationships. Couples who are intentional about making the time they have together count are better off in the long run. In the same way, as parents, it's vital that we create time with our children that is meaningful so as to lead by example and create genuine connection. As you start to practice presence in your life and time with others, you'll notice yourself appreciating those relationships more and connection to them becoming that much more meaningful.
The benefits of being present and in the moment go far beyond what was mentioned in this blog and are typically different from person to person. The best way to figure out the benefits is to practice it yourself. The question now is, how will you practice being present today?
Live with intentionality and, as always...
Lead Well,
What is a Good Legacy?
Defined simply, a legacy is what you leave behind after your time on this earth is over. Often times a legacy pertains to something physical, like money or possessions, but it is so much more than that. Your legacy is not tied to things you acquire in this life, but rather it is linked to the way you lived and how you made others feel. The mark you leave behind as you walk through this life, that is your legacy, and the family and friends you will one day go on without will be the ones to walk in it.
So, are you creating a legacy that you're proud of? What is a good legacy?
Money will run out and possessions cannot last forever, but a good legacy is one that is felt rather than held. Your true legacy is found in the hearts of those you love and are loved by. So how do we ensure that when we leave, those we love are better off for having had us in their lives? We decide what it is we want to center our lives around and do so with pure intentions and all of our hearts. We recognize what is and is not important and we make those things clear to the people around us through not just our words but our actions.
If you live a life that is centered around a desire to make money, then your legacy will be one of greed and materialism-but what if your life was centered around love, fun, or joy? Those are things that only grow over time and can endure every trial that life can throw at you, what better to leave future generations than that? When someone stands up at your funeral one day do you want them to read your resume aloud? I would hope not! Wouldn't it mean more to have people stand up and say that you were someone who loved everyone, who found joy in everyday life, and shared all of that with the people around them?
Your legacy is yours to create, no one else can do it for you, so it's up to you how you will be remembered. Don't waste your time reaching for things that will one day mean nothing, invest yourself in living a life that is rooted in love and watch your legacy unfold in the generations that will come from you.
Your legacy starts today, how will you make it a good one?
Lead Well,