When we’re young “don’t talk to strangers” is drilled into our heads, and with good reason. While there is endless beauty and good in the world, there is also evil, and children unfortunately have a harder time differentiating between the two.
But here’s a question for you (knowing full well that my audience is not children), when was the last time you truly engaged with a stranger?
Not just a “please”, “thank you”, or “one drip coffee” but an actual conversation?
Every day we drive past hundreds of cars heading to destinations we don’t know about, with people driving them we don’t know. We sit in coffee shops surrounded by laptops used for an endless myriad of tasks.
Sonder(noun): the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
While there is no way to know and understand every single person we pass by, it’s important to understand that every person you’ve ever met has their own life, their own struggles, and wisdom born from circumstances we don’t know about.
This blog is my case to you to start engaging with the world around you in a deeper way by talking to more strangers.
So then, what do you have to gain from talking to strangers?
Here are three reasons to talk to strangers more:
1. It Makes us Happier
Studies have found that those who engage with and talk to strangers in their everyday lives are happier at the end of the day. Often times we find ourselves trapped in our own minds or feeling isolated, but talking to strangers can help us to get out of that funk or thought pattern. These small interactions could be the bright spot of your day, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. By speaking to strangers we reinforce in ourselves that the world is full of beauty and even kindness. This allows our trust and hope to grow as our confidence does.
2. Strengthens Community
When we engage with strangers, especially other “regulars” in the places we go frequently we are helping the communities we live in to become stronger through connection. Who doesn’t love the idea of being a regular, right? You walk into a coffee shop and the barista knows your name and can guess what you’ll order? It can make anyone feel special-but it’s a two way street. If you want to be known you have to be willing to know others. If you want to be a part of something it’s up to you to make the first move. Ask the barista about themselves and tell them about you. Always remember the people making your food or driving your car are people, and you can learn something from them if you listen.
3. Mental Health
In the last couple of years isolation has become the norm. That isolation takes a toll on us whether we realize it or not, we feel alone and disconnected from the world around us. That feeling of being alone tends to grow if not attended to. This is where talking to strangers can help, because when we engage with someone else suddenly they become real, not just a background character in our day. By connecting with strangers we are pulled out of our minds and brought to the present-the here and now. Humans are hard wired to desire connection, without it we struggle to feel motivated and important. When we talk to strangers and learn about them we remember that everyone has battles they have won and lost, we aren’t as alone as we may think. Get out of your head and into the present through talking with strangers.
The good thing about conversations with strangers is that you don’t have anything to lose, there is a certain kind of freedom that comes with the anonymity. If you’re anxious about starting a conversation, I assure you that the hardest part is the first word.
Some of my favorite moments throughout my days are when I’ve learned something new about someone I’ve never met before. They say it’s good to learn something new everyday, and I believe that doesn’t only pertain to science or history facts. There are lessons waiting to be learned behind the eyes of every stranger we meet.
I hope you’ll take the time to engage with the people around you today. I promise it’s worth it.
Lead Well,
