Everyday we are living on this earth there are countless chances for connection with the people around us that are ours for the taking-but only if we make it an intention to do so. I’ve talked before on the blog about talking to strangers and the positive benefits it can have on your life, but I wanted to take time to dive deeper into the idea of connecting with people.

And let me be clear, I’m not talking about networking. Not that there is anything wrong with it, just that the kind of connection I want to discuss is deeper and more human than that. If the only reason you have for talking to someone is what the conversation can do for you or your career, you are entirely missing the point. Connecting with others isn’t about what they can do for you, it’s about being seen and known for who you truly are and taking the time to learn and experience the same from someone else.

Connections are formed when we allow ourselves to be seen and known for who we are, not just what we do and how we do it.

It’s one thing to talk to someone, connection is something else entirely. Connection means there is something deeper you found or let be found in the midst of a conversation. It’s what happens when we decide to make it a priority. 

Ok, so why am I talking about this in the first place?

Because connection matters, and we often times downplay the significance of truly knowing and being known by others. And it makes sense, connection can be daunting, especially if you’ve been hurt or turned down in the past. The beautiful thing about connection though is that we as humans are made for it, and when we make it an intention to know the people in our lives we are strengthened in other areas of our lives.

So what does it mean to connect with someone?

It’s one thing to have a conversation with someone, but at the end of it do you really know anything new about the people you’re talking to? Connections are made when we find common ground between us and another person. It’s created when we are honest about who we are and allow others to do the same. There is enough small talk in the world to bore us all to sleep, but when you see a conversation as an opportunity rather than a necessary burden you are priming yourself to get the most out of whatever it may be. 

If you want to connect with people on a level that matters, talk to them about the things that matter to you. Focus less on the “what” and more on the “why” and even if their “why” is different from yours, the honesty you set the stage with has allowed you to truly know someone better. 

I think a lot about the people I have worked with over the years, so much of the experience you have with a job is centered around the people, and as a leader I’m proud to be surrounded by some pretty incredible ones. Being the leader myself gives me the ability to set the precedent for connection. When I am open and honest with my employees or partners, it lets them know that they are welcome to bring their thoughts and feelings to the table as well. And in doing so, I have reinforced to them that they matter to me beyond the tasks they do on a daily basis.

As leaders, we have the opportunity to create not just spectacular outcomes with our work, but meaningful relationships with those we work alongside as well. I talk about what it means to be an authentic leader a lot in my speeches and writing, but in practice it can really be as simple as learning to listen as well as you speak. Engaging with the world around you isn’t about checking the boxes of what makes up a conversation, it’s about having the appreciation for those around you that leads you to wanting to know them more. 

I always say that one of the best parts of my job is the people it brings me along the way to connect with. What good is a goal achieved if you get there and don’t have anyone beside you to celebrate with?! Why would you want to glide through life without the excitement that comes with knowing and learning from others?! 

I encourage you to take a good look at the interactions you have and ask yourself if you are just talking, or truly connecting. You already know the answer, but regardless of what it is, today can be the day you change it. Today can be the day you decide to start being known by others for who you are not just what you do, and tomorrow can be the day you invite others to do the same. 

I hope you will.

Lead Well,