Optimism (noun): hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something.

I’ve talked before on here about the power that optimism has to make you a better leader and person. There is an invaluable strength that comes with the ability to be optimistic in the midst of both struggles and good times-but there are times when positivity can go too far.

There is a line between optimism and toxic positivity that is important to be aware of as you move through this life.

You can be optimistic about the future while still acknowledging the negative things that have happened and allowing yourself to feel-but not be swallowed by-current pain or trials. This is where some people make the mistake of slipping from optimism to toxic positivity. 

What is toxic positivity?

A lot of times we don’t like to think about the negative things or focus on them-but that doesn’t make them go away. Toxic positivity is a state of denial about circumstances that does not serve you or anyone else. It is a belief that no matter how devastating a situation may be, you have to be positive in order to move forward. Negative emotions are rarely comfortable to experience, and those who fall into toxic positivity may be inclined to respond to difficult situations with platitudes of “just focus on the positive” rather than empathy. 

Have you ever had someone tell you to “focus on the positive” while you’re in the midst of a really hard time?

I’ll go ahead and venture to guess that it wasn’t the most comforting feedback. And they often mean well, but this kind of thinking will often lead to the recipient of such platitudes feeling disconnected or alienated.

That’s because feelings-even the hard ones-are a vital part of the experience of living. 

Strength, true strength, is the ability to hold space for those hard feelings and still hold hope that it won’t always feel this way. And optimism does not need everything to be perfect in order to persist. The best leaders understand that there are lessons to be learned through hardships that never could have been discovered if things were always perfect. And for that reason, it is a leaders duty not to steer the ship around a problem-but through it-with a confidence that there are calmer waters ahead. 

You don’t have to force yourself to feel positive in the midst of a trial-and you won’t help anyone through a hard time by trying to convince them to ignore what they’re rightfully feeling. You can be optimistic while still understanding and feeling pain. 

The hard things in this life will continue to come, but we have to be willing to face them if we want to overcome them. And we have to be willing to sit in that discomfort with others if we truly want to support them. 

As you move forward in life with the intention to lead, I want to encourage you to face the hard things both in your life and the lives of those you care about. There are connections that can only be made through facing hardships together, and your team, your friends, and your family will grow in strength as you do just that. 

Lead Well,