Part of the human experience is dealing with insecurity in one form or the other. While it’s normal to second guess certain things in your life, often times we see insecurity set up permanent residence in our minds. Insecurity gets in the way of most people taking the chances that could bring them to a new level in life. It stops them from pursuing relationships, careers, and opportunities. When you’re in the midst of insecurity it can truly be paralyzing and it often times feels hopeless to try and pull yourself out of it. While talk therapy is a wonderful option for solving this kind of problem, not everyone has the resources to go, so here a few things to keep in mind to potentially improve your confidence.
Where Does Insecurity Stem From?
While everyone is different, there are a lot of commonalities when it comes to causes for insecurity. When you are able to identify the specifics of your insecurities you are better able to tackle them.
- Rejection: everyone in life at some point has faced rejection and it rarely happens without leaving a sharp impact on you. It only takes feeling it once to fear it happening again in any other situation.
- Fear of Being Judged: Since everyone is different, a lot of times we tend to see our differences as weakness rather than just…differences. Insecurity often times tells us that we’re best off just hiding what we really think and who we really are. We don’t want to risk being isolated from those around us with our differences or being left out because we don’t agree. It is an entirely natural thing to be insecure about.
- Perfectionism: While being a perfectionist allows many to excel in various aspects of life, it also tends to lend itself to insecurity. If you are constantly expecting perfection of yourself, you will spend your life disappointed. Just because you can’t do something perfectly doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it or at least try. Often times you may even surprise yourself.
With each of these reasons being said, it’s important to understand that your reasons for feeling anxious or insecure are more than valid. You’re human, and insecurity is a natural part of that. So, how do we move forward? How do we work to build our confidence?
What You Can Do
Learn About Yourself
Self reflection is a powerful tool for overcoming insecurities. When you gain a better understanding of yourself, the things you love, what you think is right or wrong, and the strengths you possess, your footing gets stronger. No one knows you better than you do and no one can tell you who you are if you already know. There are a ton of different resources you can utilize to get to know yourself. From self guided journals to therapy, and even The Quiggle Assessment, it’s up to you how you want to go about this. Regardless of what you do choose to do, you have to dedicate yourself to it. Like any relationship, it takes intentionality and time. You’re in a relationship with yourself too, treat yourself how you’d treat your best friend.
Find a Way to Express Yourself
Finding something you love and find freedom in doing can be huge for your confidence. Be it a journal, hobby, sport, or the way you dress, self expression can be found anywhere. After you have learned about yourself, try finding ways to express or process your feelings, thoughts, and emotions. When done alone, this activity or hobby is a safe space for you. When you know how to confidently spend time alone, you’ll be more confident in groups. Ask yourself when you express yourself in some way, “do I sincerely love this?” And if the answer is yes, don’t let anyone else’s opinion take it away from you. If the answer is no, ask yourself why not? Be sincere with yourself and your passions-they’re yours-and the only one stopping you from living a life you love is yourself.
Embrace Your Humanity
No one has ever died without making a mistake, lots of mistakes actually. If you haven’t messed up in a while, you probably will at some point soon. That’s not meant to scare you, failure is inevitable at some point and when you accept that as a part of your experience in this life, you are taking a weight off your back. You’re allowed to be human, with all the stipulations that comes with. It doesn’t matter if you mess up, it matters how you handle yourself when you do. Insecurity causes us to hide from our failures, confidence allows us to face them and know that they do not define us. It’s ok to not be perfect. It’s normal to be insecure at times. That doesn’t make you less than the person next to you because they too have made mistakes.
When all is said and done confidence is yours for the taking and it looks different on you than it does on someone else. If anything, you can hold on to the fact that you are not alone in having these kinds of emotions or thoughts. You are worth fighting for and standing up for, but it starts with you doing it for yourself. When you carry yourself with confidence doors open as a result.
That’s one of the reasons I created The Quiggle Assessment, because I want to see people embracing their individuality. The Assessment is made to help you know what your strengths are and how to articulate them to the world around you. If you’re interested in taking the test but have any questions, we would love to answer them for you.
Lead Well,
