The relationships in our lives are some of the most important assets we have. After all what good is success, fame, power, or money, if we don’t have people around us that we can enjoy it with? On the other hand, you can be surrounded by people and still lack true connection. So how do we make the relationships we have better?
The answer is simple but the action it takes to implement can be challenging-we have to be willing to be vulnerable.
Connection requires a level of vulnerability that can intimidating if it’s not something you’re used to practicing. Yet without vulnerability and honesty we can’t ever be known and loved for who we really are.
But how do we practice being vulnerable with others if it’s not something we’re used to doing? Here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself to work towards deepening your relationships:
Am I comfortable with this person? Why or why not?
Relationships can only grow and thrive in a space where both parties feel safe to be themselves. In this relationships, do you feel able to freely express yourself without judgement? If so, fantastic! True friendships and relationships benefit us most when both parties are able to show up as their true selves and be accepted for whatever that is. If you feel as though you can’t be open or honest with this person, ask yourself why it is you feel that way, is it because of your own perception of the relationship, or because this person has displayed actions in the past that make you feel judged or overlooked?
If it’s the latter, it may be time to have a tough conversation with this person about why it is that their actions make you feel this way. Their response to this kind of honest conversation can tell you a lot about the way they view you. If things change and their reaction is one of listening and reassuring, great. If the way they react only makes you feel worse, it may be time to take a step back and reassess.
Do we talk about things that are truly important?
It’s easy to become complacent with the people in our lives, especially if they’ve been around for a long time. It’s easy for the surface level conversations to take main stage, especially because they are often the topics were most comfortable discussing. But if you want your connection with someone to be deeper, the conversations have to go deeper.
Do both parties know they are appreciated and loved?
If someone has been in our life for a long time we may assume they simply know that we appreciate them. And this could be true…but what would happen if you consistently let them know they matter to you? It can feel awkward to suddenly start doing this, I get it, but if you want a relationship to thrive, showing appreciation on a consistent basis can make a huge difference. Doesn’t it feel amazing when someone tells you they appreciate you? Wouldn’t you love it if you heard that more? Start by doing it for others, odds are they will start doing the same for you.
Conclusion
The relationships you have in your life are invaluable and can be a cornerstone to your foundation in life, but only if you work to make them as such. If you want deeper relationships in your life, it takes two, and you can be the first one to instigate. Don’t settle for the surface level when what’s waiting deeper is so much better.
Lead Well,
